Burn and build. It all begins with each of us. Choose to be emotionally healthy. Don’t push it down, ignore it or dissociate; honor Breonna’s (and so many others’) memory by feeling. You can set fire to the things that don’t serve the whole with informed voting, getting involved and personal responsibility. You can build by supporting people, causes and businesses that align with your values. This includes supporting and investing in YOUR DREAMS. I have 2 questions for you:
What paradigm in your life will you set fire to?
What are you building?
Me? I am torching the outdated models and beliefs of what women should put first in their lives and what determines their success. I am building a movement of women living empowered, joy-filled & wealthy lives!
Heartbroken. This word pretty much sums up my feelings this weekend as I, along with the rest of the world, found out that “Our King” from Black Panther, Chadwick Boseman, shockingly passed away from cancer at 43.
My father would’ve been 80 years on this earth August 29th. I was already gathering pieces of my heart as tributes, pictures, quotes and disbelief about Chadwick’s death flooded the media. It was time for me to Feel, Find & Thrive.
That is what I promised myself at the beginning of this long year. Reeling from losing a close girlfriend and watching the pandemic spread throughout the world, I realized that in order to stay sane, functioning and joyful, I had to pivot my perspective and emotions regarding death. After doing my spiritual work, I chose to Feel, Find & Thrive when dealing with the inevitable cycle of life. I make space to FEEL the loss, emotions and memories that come up. I then FIND inspiration from the person’s life or situation to use as fuel in my life to THRIVE. In essence, I use the Japanese art of Kintsugi to mend by broken heart using the gold from my loved ones and enhance my life in the process.
Kintsugi -It means, literally, ‘to join with gold’. In Zen aesthetics, the broken pieces of an accidentally-smashed pot should be carefully picked up, reassembled and then glued together with lacquer inflected with a very luxuriant gold powder. There should be no attempt to disguise the damage, the point is to render the fault-lines beautiful and strong. www.theschooloflife.com/
I actually didn’t write this to share my process around death. I am writing to share the gold. In the hopes that it will break down the age-old paradigms in our minds of WHEN we deserve to experience passion, purpose and JOY.
There is no WHEN! It isn’t when you retire, it’s not just for the young, there is no perfect time and we can look at Chadwick’s life to see that you don’t even have to be in perfect health!
In my last post, I called you out about the goal, idea, or business you have placed on a pedestal because of the fear of failure. Now, I’m asking you to reply and tell me what small step you can take to honor what you’re being called to bring into the world.
What is one thing you can do that will light you up, blow dust off your goal and get you moving?
One step – small or large – comment below and give it to me!
Listen, I’ve certainly had my time as an expert of both (1) procrastination and (2) focusing on multiple things when trying to reach big goals.
Let me know if this is or has been you:
You have really great goals/ideas (such as starting a business, consulting or writing a book) that you keep putting off.
You split your energy between different goals you want to pursue and as a result, you’ve started multiple things but they’ve never been fruitful.
It’s not that your idea isn’t important or good, or (like your inner critic will shout) that you’re lazy. Your goal is amazing and I know you can be motivated.
The problem is actually simple but difficult to overcome. Your vision of what you’d really love to do (whether it’s using your gifts to help others or selling the thing everyone always asks you for) is on a PEDESTAL.
Take a walk with me here…
You put your idea on a pedestal and unintentionally- subconsciously -develop the feeling that the only way to keep it perfect is to keep it conceptual.
As long as it’s a glorious idea inside your head, you don’t have to worry about putting in long hours just to find out it didn’t work.
Your idea is safe as long as it’s grand in your imagination and you haven’t launched it to a place where you could disappoint yourself, or where people could possibly reject or criticize it.
Your inner critic is whispering that you can never be labeled a failure if you never really try to complete the thing.
Maybe you put someone’s similar idea on a pedestal and tell yourself you could never do it as well as they did. Therefore, as long as you keep your goal in the privacy of your notebook or vision board, you will never pale in comparison to someone else’s success.
What is at the base of all this? FEAR.
I know we can sometimes get tripped up by the fear of success but whew, the fear of failure? Yeah. That’s the one messing us up.
The fear of failure, the fear of not living up to the pedestal we place things on (unnecessarily) causes us to (1) procrastinate, and/or (2) always seem to be focused on a new goal.
You’re afraid. I’m afraid. We’re all afraid.
We’re scared we don’t have what it takes. We’re unsure of how others will perceive our ideas until we actually put it out there and see what happens.
We’re afraid that we will invest time, energy and/or money in a plan, but not reach all of our goals… UNTIL we acknowledge that some progress is way better than none. And that some progress is better than worrying about not making progress, while also not making any progress.
This pedestal problem will not go away with more of the same or by willing it to be different. It will go away by taking a different approach.
Are you ready? If starting a business is something that has been on your vision board year after year, if you’d love to retire early and do something you’re passionate about, if you already have a side hustle and would LOVE for its growth to replace your paycheck, I have a few secrets to share…
Comment and let me know what’s sitting on a pedestal in your mind?
Like most powerhouse women, me and the status quo don’t really get along. And at the very least, let’s just say I like to reframe things in a way that align with my values, experience & reality.
Which is why instead of waving flags and wearing America’s colors on the Fourth of July, I prefer to declare MY OWN INDEPENDENCE.
Click the photo above for a beautiful Inner Declaration of Independence template
Along with whatever plans you have for the Fourth, I’m inviting you to take my ‘reframe’ of America’s founding fathers’ statement: copy, paste and make it your own! I’ve thrown in a few examples in parentheses to get your flow started but it is yours to customize. I’ve also created a beautiful PDF for you to download and print if you like.
Please share this post with family & friends. I encourage you to post your Inner Declaration on social media and don’t forget to tag #ElevateyourNOW so I can see it. I’ll share mine in the EYN community, join me! xo
Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. Dating back to 1865, it was on June 19th that the Union soldiers, led by Major General Gordon Granger, landed at Galveston, Texas with news that the war had ended and that the enslaved were now free. Note that this was two and a half years after President Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation – which had become official January 1, 1863.
I grew up in Berkeley, California where we’ve have held a Juneteenth celebration (which regularly falls on Father’s Day) since I was a teenager. This gathering was a ritual for us. Today, alongside the thousands of people who celebrate this commemoration every year, there is an explosion of recognition for June 19th, 1865; the day the news of emancipation finally reached the last enslaved African Americans in Galveston, Texas.
In and through all that we’ve experienced in the world these past couple of months, we’ve somehow found ourselves at a juncture where the media, corporations, social platforms and people everywhere have decided to use Juneteenth to honor, celebrate, connect, (placate, manage guilt) and take action in this time of Global Reset and Black Lives Matter activism.
I have many feelings about this and many things I could say. As I’ve been doing in abundance lately, I choose stillness. After being still I realized that I could focus on all the ways our recent circumstances have made a mockery of freedom OR I could choose to focus on the ways I am free in this moment…
I am free to kiss my remarkable husband as I leave our home
To receive a bear hug from my (all of a sudden taller than me) baby boy
To kiss my daughter’s adult cheeks
To have an inspired conversation with a friend and mentor
To sit on a public bench with snacks and a thought-provoking book
To laugh on a chat thread with my inner circle of powerhouse sisters
To feel loved, supported and respected to support and guide clients who are thriving even in the midst
To move my body at will in healthy and energetic ways
To make money doing what I love and in my zone of genius
To look out at this view as I write this message
To breathe and fight and shine in honor of those who cannot
What is your form of freedom in this moment? Comment below or in my group.
“May I gather up my internal forces and lead the life I was created to live. May I not be lukewarm today, but rather deeply committed to the principles I believe in. Who am I to be lazy when I have been called by God to greatness. May I not forget today the importance of the ground on which I stand.”
The quote above is excerpted from my daily morning reading, A Year of Miracles by Marianne Williamson. When I read it, I instantly fell in love with the ability it had to ignite what I needed to rise into this week.
I spent some time meditating on this line specifically: Who am I to be lazy when I have been called by God to greatness. Mmmm, breathe that in for a second. We have all been called by something greater than ourselves to be, do and have more. However, I am not a fan of the word “lazy” because it often walks heavy with judgement about behavior that may be mislabeled. While I definitely have moments of being unwilling to do much more than throw popcorn into my mouth while watching some wild science-fiction, I rarely have time to be lazy.
Sounds weird to say, right? But the truth is, most powerhouse women are far too busy to be lazy. What is actually happening but not really acknowledged during this time of doing nothing is:
Playing small. To be transparent, that is what came from the stillness of me sitting with this excerpt. I’ve put myself out there in order to help transform the lives of many women but in truth, I’ve been playing very safe. I’ve been speaking up when I should be yelling. I’ve been offering change when I should be demanding transformation. I’ve been showing up in my knowledge instead of shining through my genius! Can you tell I’m inspired? Lol.
I am betting that like me, you have a beautiful vision of a life you would love to live. If any of the words above resonate, I encourage you to slip that word into the sentence and then ask yourself, “If this is stopping me from greatness, what is one small thing I can do to make room for my divine life?”
For example: Who am I to be exhausted when I have been called by God to greatness? Maybe I could go to bed one hour earlier tonight or say No to that extra thing my boss asked me to do.
Try it out for yourself and reply with your sentence and ‘one small thing’. You can also share it in my Powerhouse Women Rising group, click the button.
Can we make a deal? No waiting for someone else to make you feel loved this today. Ok?
February 14th can bring up so many feelings for women. Most of which, if we’re honest, are downright exhausting. I’ve watched and felt at times in my life, feelings of confusion, shame, hurt, surprise, gratitude, anger and wonder.
I’m challenging you to turn Valentine’s day inside-out this year!
Valentine is a name derived from the Roman family name Valentinus, which was derived from the Latin word Valens meaning: “strong, vigorous, healthy.
Whether or not you have “a valentine” to make plans with, make a commitment right now to take at least 15 minutes on Friday to do something… anything that makes YOU feel strong, vigorous and/or healthy!
Let’s REALLY practice self-love. Love yourself enough to remind yourself:
How strong you are physically
How mentally strong you’ve been in your life
What vigorous energy looks like
Of your miraculous health
Just how grateful you are to have a healthy lifestyle
What would that look like for you? Comment and let me know!
The above photo makes me smile every time I see it (thanks Bethanie Hines Photography). It reflects the beauty, support, community and commitment to my calling that 2019’s path-through-the-wilderness brought. That’s what our life feels like sometimes right? Wilderness. And when we finally see a clear path opening up, we tend to break out into a full sprint! Before you go all Allyson Felix (the Olympic sprinter that broke Usain Bolt’s world record just 10 months after giving birth) for 2020, I’m going to ask you to slow your roll.
At the beginning of a new year, well sometimes at the beginning of a new anything, we tend to speed up, avert our eyes and move swiftly past reflection toward what we fiercely hope will be a better experience. If we do spend quiet time alone reflecting (or with girlfriends over wine or ice cream) the human in us tends to look back over the thing we just finished, a relationship/job/diet/year, and highlight what went wrong.
I knew what to do but didn’t do it… I kept saying I wouldn’t go back, but I did… I wouldn’t be in this situation if I’d spoken up… I felt stuck all year… Why am I starting off the year broke again? I tried that diet! Well kind of.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that we should be in denial. However, I guarantee you’ve already beat yourself up about those things once, if not 10 times already! Allow yourself to heal from the wounds these situations have caused and the reopening of flesh from the harsh words said to you, by you.
I’m encouraging the Divine in you to consider reflecting on your past year in the following ways:
What were the joy-filled, funniest or fun moments of 2019?
In what ways was I a BADASS? or for those of you who don’t have a potty-mouth like me, In what ways did I SLAY?
When did I show up as the best version of myself?
What did I learn last year?
What opportunities were offered to me (whether I accepted or not)?
What am I grateful for?
Sit a moment in stillness, pull out a pen and paper (or prepare to type) and come up with 3 to 10 things for each. Yes, you will be able to! Here are some other ways to remind yourself (please don’t go down a rabbit hole with these, give yourself a time limit of 15 min to review):
Ask your friends or mentors (often they remember things that you have glossed over)
Look over your 2019 social media posts
Go through your 2019 calendar (online, phone or paper)
Whether you are celebrating the birth of a savior, principles to live by, the miracle of light, or a new year, have you made space to welcome in the new?
December 21st was the last Winter Solstice of the decade! What does that mean? For me it brings to mind a Maori proverb that I love: Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
The last long period of darkness is behind us so that we may welcome, expect and create LIGHT.
However, there has been something nagging at me lately. Many (myself included at times), are so willing to make that fast pivot toward the light that we completely miss the deep wisdom and growth darkness has to offer.
In this post, I’m gifting you a powerful Declaration AND an exercise to clear space within so that it may root.
🕊✨Happy New Year!✨🕊
Start 2020 worth a powerful Declaration (written and audio) AND an exercise to clear space within so that it may root!
A Declaration of Elevation I declare grace over your life: that the words from your mouth land softly and your thoughts are loving and gentle that your strides are long and sure…
To claim the rest of your declaration, click the link below! Comment and let me know how you used this in your life.
Kwanzaa is my favorite holiday but I celebrate all year long. I’d love for you to join me on Instagram or Facebook for #KwanzaaForSuccess and leave a comment.
Nia (Purpose): To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness. This building & developing must take place within first. Me walking in my purpose can’t help but to positively affect those around me. When I know my reason for being (at the moment because yes, it changes) and then CHOOSE to move inside of it, I AM GREAT. Which means, WE are great.
If you’d like to learn more about the holiday, this is the official website. Happy Kwanzaa and Happy Holidays!