Reflecting on 2018
At the beginning of a new year, well sometimes at the beginning of a new anything, we tend to speed up, avert our eyes and move swiftly past reflection toward what we hope will be a better experience. If we do spend some quiet time alone (or time with girlfriends over wine or ice cream) the human in ustends to look back over the thing we just finished, a relationship/job/diet/year, and highlight what went wrong.
“I kept saying I wouldn’t go back, but I did… I wouldn’t be in this situation if I’d spoken up… I just felt stuck all year… I knew what to do but didn’t do it… Why am I starting off the year broke again? Yep I tried that diet too, kind of.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that we should be in denial. However, I guarantee you’ve already beat yourself up about those things once, if not 10 times already! Allow yourself to heal from the wounds these situations have caused and the reopening of flesh from the harsh words said to you, by you.
I’m encouraging the divine in you to consider reflecting on your past year in the following ways:
- What did I learn last year?
- What opportunities were offered to me (whether I accepted or not)?
- What am I grateful for?
- In what ways was I a BADASS? or those of you who don’t have a potty-mouth like me, In what ways did I SLAY?
- When did I show up as the best version of myself?
- What were the joy-filled, funniest or fun moments of 2018?
Sit a moment in stillness, pull out a pen and paper (or prepare to type) and come up with 3 to 10 things for each. Yes you will be able to! I’d love for you to leave a comment below or share in the Powerhouse Women Rising group.
I’ve wanted to post but kept procrastinating trying to think of clever things to write about.
The truth is, that while I’ve had an increase in clients (women I love and am so proud of), my kids have had a great summer, my husband and I are celebrating our 21st anniversary… I’VE BEEN ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER! There is a lot of transition happening in our lives; among other things, we’re both worried about our parents’ health and the violence happening in our city.
In a few of my coaching sessions, my clients have expressed the craziness of trying to keep it together when life is good yet there are also things (happening internally and externally) threatening to take you under!
I have a daily spiritual practice of prayer and gratitude and although it keeps me centered, lately I’ve needed more! I decided to keep it real in this email and share my 3 keys to “keeping it together” while in the midst:
- I allow myself to be emotional & vulnerable. Whew, let me tell you this does not come easy for me (and most powerhouse women)! Society has poisoned the link between powerful – and – emotional. Supposedly, one cancels the other out. I have found exactly the opposite. There is sooo much power & courage in being able to access and FEEL instead of run from your emotions. Being vulnerable means letting your defenses down. This happens when you are strong enough to believe that leaving yourself open doesn’t mean defeat, it means opening to love, support and witnessing.
- I go on a negativity diet. Basically, I restrict my intake of anything that will lower my mood, vibration or attitude. I consciously avoid the channels, platforms & people that carry sadness, gossip, drama, things that will anger me or just general downers. Now some things you can’t avoid, like people lol, random conversations, news headlines, etc. When I come across these things, I refuse to click into articles or read comments (a definite no-no), engage people down their rabbit-holes and overall try my best to be aware, send blessings AND slowly back away.
- I go deep into my calling! Out of these 3, this lifts my spirit the most. My calling to guide and empower women through coaching and community experiences helps me remember the truth, beauty & purpose of my life. It challenges me out of my ego and into my heart, it brings me joy, keeps me grateful and lets me know that no matter what else is going on, I am making an impact! Whether your calling is writing, dancing, cooking, a business, art… make some time to immerse yourself in it, even for 30 minutes.
What can you go deep into that brings you joy amidst chaos and change?
I’ve been pouring myself into creating a life-changing experience this September 8th & 9th for my annual workshop-retreat Activate Your Calling.
This year’s 2 day event will be held right in the middle of the San Francisco Bay on Treasure Island! I picked this secluded, beautiful, century-old mansion with catered lunches so that you can truly use this weekend for claiming and creating the next chapter of your life. We will get you unstuck, re-inspired and motivated by integrating the 3 C’s into your reality.
Clarity. Courage. Confidence.
Registration is open and space is limited! For a limited time, this inner circle link will get you a free ticket ($75 commitment fee required). This is YOUR weekend, I would love to have you in the house♥
One of the best weeks of my life was spent crying every day.
Seriously, whether I cried from:
- laughing so hard I could barely breathe (like on that 4-person raft above in the photo) or
- from a conversation with our Dominican driver that showed us the reality of being Haitian in the DR or
- from watching a man in pure bliss on the dance floor, only moments later crumple into what may have been his death (the resort wouldn’t tell us if he lived or died).
It was a beautiful trip for so many reasons. My friends and I were treated like royalty, challenged ourselves with different adventures and felt like true sisters. The only regret I have is waiting so damn long to go on a international trip with my girls! Why hadn’t we done this before now?? But come on, you know how it is:
“Who’s going to go with me?”
“I don’t have the time”
“I don’t have the money”
And a million more excuses and negative thoughts. We were presented with an opportunity and even with these thoughts and many more swirling through our heads we said, YES! Guess what? The thoughts didn’t go away. If anything, they got stronger:
“What the hell was I thinking?”
“What about my family & job?”
“I’m not going to be able to make the payments”
How did we make it happen? With a plan and accountability.
A good friend of mine set up a great plan with a travel agent that we committed to. Then we set up a chat on Facebook and posted EVERY time we made a payment, missed a payment, considered backing out, got excited, bought a new dress or needed support. We even made a pinky promise to have a 6 pack of abs for the trip! Between the 4 of us that is. 1-2 abs each. LOL
What would you like start, restart, or get some momentum behind before the summer hits? A girl’s trip like mine, a creative project, work deadline, losing 10 lbs, redecorating? Create a plan that includes small, manageable steps and a timeline that fits into YOUR reality. Be held accountable. This can happen with a friend, coworker, social media posts or… a coach☺
I am retiring my “do it yourself” coaching program and have decided to offer it at a crazy price before it goes away on May 15th. I’ve listened to you at my Meetups, your emails and online. I know you want this first half of 2018 to MEAN something in your life. Sometimes all it takes is a roadmap and a guide. Check it out here
Only a few days… I started to say left in 2017 but I’d rather say until… See the truth is I’m at the threshold packed & ready for the new year!
I’ve taken my memory lane journey:
- Said my farewells to the thoughts, habits & things (15 bags of stuff in the garage) that no longer serve me
- Chronicled lessons learned – what worked fabulously, what sent me to my knees
- Wept in gratitude for the love, relationships & prosperity that met me at every turn
Take a 2017 journey. And better yet, do what I did and do it with a good friend that can remind you of the lessons you’d like to gloss over and the triumphs that you forgot to celebrate.
Because I am not a scrooge this year and my FAVORITE holiday (Kwanzaa) is almost here, I’m hopping into the holiday spirit with my very own Gift Guide! I was inspired by an awesome list I received, yet in trying to put together a very Oprahesque “my favorite things list” I realized, “What list? Kysha, you ain’t loyal!” Lol. I don’t have too many faves because I love to try new brands & companies. So while some of these aren’t specific, I hope you are inspired to try something new. Did I mention these gift ideas are for you?
My List of Faves… kinda
Top Down Planner – I love planners and have tried many (check out my reviews) but this one is perfect for my business & home life. It is driven by your goals and encourages small steps as well as gratitude:
Yes, when I am onstage I believe in heels for the Gawds! But running around with my kids and finding mobile offices, I love to sport my chucks. Not just any old Converse, I like unique fabrics, cool colors, girly designs and insoles by Lunarlon (like walking on mattresses). Find your own at an outlet near you (cuz I believe in outlets). Check out these:
Ring Mount – I loooove these. No particular brand, you can find them at Ross for $5. I listen to audiobooks and podcasts in my car but don’t like the huge mounts that always fall off. I also take lots of pictures with my phone. Having a ring I can slip my finger through means I won’t drop it in the ocean, hiking a hill or taking an incredibly angled selfie.
Magazines! Remember those? I’m a recovered magazine junkie (hubby wouldn’t agree) that only has 2 ahem.. or 3 subscriptions a year. They vary depending upon my focus. I’m listing my current faves but I’d encourage you to go old school and get yourself or a friend a subscription for something you’re passionate about. You can’t beat a $2-4 delivery every month of great photography, engaging writing and/or a new way of doing something or BEing.
O – The Oprah Magazine It’s Oprah, duh.
Bella Grace Beautiful in so many ways.
AFAR Inspirational Travel!
Inc. Thought leadership for business owners.
The fam has subscriptions to Flying, Slam & Photography . Here’s a great place to try out specialty mags inexpensively.
Get your health on – I’m not big on taking over-the-counter drugs so I’m always on the lookout for things to keep our bodies functioning at it’s best. Here are some of my body-savers:
Need iron? Most women could use more. I’ve been Anemic for years and this iron with vitamin C and blood-supporting herbs has been a Godsend. What this means for me is energy when I need it most (like every day lol)! And I don’t get the digestive blues that taking iron alone often gives you.
Probiotics – This one is for healthy digestion and doesn’t need to be refrigerated. Also comes specifically for women.
Aromatherapy – One or all or these are a constant in our household. doTerra is a great company but there are many companies offering pure oils. Do your research or reply and I’ll give you my client’s info (doTerra rep). Here’s why we use them:
Eucalyptus for anything having to do with mucus
Peppermint for fresh breath or tummy aches
Orange for energy, good vibes and immune system
Lemongrass for a fresh scent and a wake up!
I love the ease of Amazon as much as the next person but keeping our local economies & small businesses going can only be done by us. So get out into your community and explore! Here are 2 of my favorite Bay Area treats:
Peter’s Kettle Corn Pure gourmet, healthy, yummy popcorn in drool-inducing flavors
Cupcakin Sigh. Let me count the ways… key lime pie, salted caramel. More drool.
Give yourself the gift of Success for 2018!
Let me begin by the fact that I’ve talked to women in Trader Joe’s, on the kids’ school yard, networking events, public bathrooms, you name it. And if she has a few decades under her belt and is a high-achiever, we’re having the same conversation!
If you are craving a life in 2018 that feels more authentic, passionate and purpose-driven,
If you are craving more courage, confidence and motivation,
Let your first step towards a new reality be this statement:
I am worthy of a life full of passion, love & purpose; I deserve success!
Let your next step be scheduling a free session with me to see if Alchemy is what you need in 2018.
I was stopped in the grocery store by a friend I hadn’t seen in over a year.
This was the first thing.
She thanked me for sitting with her at a party (which I barely remembered) and sharing one suggestion for her upcoming birth. Her baby was now a few months old and she said what I told her made her birth so much easier.
The next day or so I received a Facebook message from someone who wasn’t a ‘friend’ but said she had been looking for me on social media to tell me how sharing my birth story at an event made such a difference for her experience. She said it was beautiful thanks to me and her son was now 2 years old!
The second thing.
Within the same week, I received an email from The Bradley Method (what I studied for my homebirths) saying they were coming to my area to teach a certification course and would I like to be an instructor? AND – yep, the same week – AND we came into a nice little chunk of unexpected money!
Are you still counting? Third & fourth things.
This is why I said, “Yes!” seven years ago to one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, becoming a certified natural birth educator. I coached pregnant couples & families for 12 weeks at a time through one of the most transformative times of their lives.
Why? Because Spirit told me to.
The 4 things I mentioned above all happening in one week may sound like a coincidence to some. I call it Divine Guidance and whenever I am still and faithful enough to recognize its presence, I am never steered wrong.
This is one third of the powerful decision-making process I’m teaching 12/14 at 2pm pst. The online (or by phone) masterclass is free and there will be a replay for 24 hrs only. Click here to sign up!
BVD Decision Making – Passing your choices through the lens of:
Photo by Bethanie Hines
I know. Usually the photos at the top of my post make sense. Yeah, this is weird. Don’t worry, I’ll explain.
When I’m in conversation with people about the specific magazine cutout on their vision board that keeps calling to them, I can count on one consistency: Fear and what it takes to push through it. The truth is, there are many tools and strategies but you’ll need courage to utilize any of them.
I’m super visual, so when I hear Courage, I instantly see a superhero. Some muscular savior that has the courage to stop a thundering train or confront a huge monster in order to save someone. This my friends, is how we procrastinate and sabotage ourselves. By picturing (or thinking about) the very thing we need as unachievable! If courage is something only superheros have, how can little ole me hope to amass any for my dream?
Another strong visual for the word courage is the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz or if you’re like me, the curly-haired, Mean-Ole-Lion from The Wiz. Does this image feel more in line with reality? You’re a powerhouse, of course you have courage! But behind the bravado, there are certain things (like expanding into a new more authentic you) that have you clutching your tail and hiding behind friends.
The origin of the word courage comes from the French word ‘corage’ – which means innermost feelings.
This was derived from the Latin word ‘cor’ which literally means heart.
OH LAWD YES! Lol. Just the simple etymology of a word can give you hope! To think, this huge trait that we need for doing the scary things in life (like bringing our big dreams into reality) doesn’t require money, muscles or a supersuit! It already lives in the innermost part of ourselves, our heart. Let’s give a loud thanks and start excavating ☺
“You develop courage by doing courageous things, small things, but things that cost you some exertion
– mental and, I suppose, spiritual exertion.” Maya Angelou
I listen to my mentor Dr. Maya and I think the Mean-ole-Lion did too. At the end of movie, The Wiz, we learned that the lion had what he sought all along. He found courage when he needed it and cultivated it throughout the journey. Now that’s cool and all but I don’t want this to come as a shock to you. Be proactive about developing the courage you need for your life purpose. What small courageous things can you build upon on a daily or weekly basis?
This is something I’ve done in my life for a long time without giving a name to it. Now I call them Elevation Practices. During day 2 of Activate Your Calling, you’re going to create individual Elevation Practices and dig into how these help keep you on your path. Whew so good, it’s going to be sooo good y’all! Pull up the courage required and grab your ticket here:
And because I love Halloween and really any excuse to dress up and teach at the same time, This Sunday evening we are going to Unleash Our Inner Superhero! Success tools for using your superpowers, wine, snacks and awesome women together at a beautiful Bay Area spa. Join us ♥
There are usually 3 ways we find ourselves at the edge of a cliff.
Martha Beck explains it like this:
One is shock, which would be your car accident or losing your job or whatever it is. The next one is opportunity. Say, you fall in love and you get a chance to marry your soul mate, but it means changing everything. And the third is growth; you simply wake up one morning and what satisfied you yesterday is starting to feel empty.
Each of these sparks for rewriting the next chapter of your life, comes with its own story, healing & potential. But like many things that appear as if they are custom-made for your own crazy-beautiful life, the process is the same.
There is an energy flow right now that seems to be throwing off sparks everywhere! Many are on this precipice teetering toward what could be bliss and NO ONE should be doing it alone. Step off in community.
I miss seeing my folks live and would like to try something new. If you are interested in Free monthly Meetups (in the Bay Area or online) with Elevate your NOW, click here to let me know!
I woke up yesterday with a strong desire to clean.
Well, it was really more like ‘clean out’. I raided the fridge, throwing almost empty cream cheese containers and old oranges across the kitchen like I was Steph & Clay… SPLASH! Yes I ended up cleaning stuff off the floor too but neveryoumind all that ☻
Even though, as usual, the Bay Area can never make up its mind about what season to play dress-up in, my spirit feels a change coming on. Whether it’s humid, raining or still snowing where you are, it is the season for getting rid of sh*t and laying a welcome mat for the new & improved.
If you’re wondering, Spring cleaning has origins in cold weather climates where homes are shut up all winter and with the changing of the seasons need to be aired and cleaned out.
You’ve heard, “As above, so below”? I’d like to add:
As in your house, so be your temple
Look around the area you sleep in, get your work done, eat, play with your children. Are these spaces cluttered with things you don’t use, broken or torn items, stuff you don’t even believe in anymore?? Often our environment is an out-picturing of what’s going on in our ‘temple’, our bodies and minds.
But no need to go all woo-woo if you aren’t up for it. Just check out these neurological effects of clutter if you need a more concrete reason for a Spring cleaning.
Now that the reason for cleansing your environment is clear, know that in ancient Chinese medicine the same is believed about the body. This season is a time of renewal, blossoming AND the dissipation of old & stale energy. A time to open your heart and welcome new flow.
I encourage you to bring to mind one (did you hear me? ONE) goal or desire and write down what you can ‘clean out’ of your environment, body & mind in order to make space for it in your life. How does that feel? Acknowledging that you do indeed have room for your goal to show up.. if you make space for it?
I’d love to know how your cleaning goes. What are you making space for and what’s in the way? Comment below ☟