“I have a gentle, joy-filled, respectful, unconditional relationship with my children”
– One of my 2015 vision statements
Aaaaaand this is my Facebook post from Saturday:
WOOSAH. 2 disrespectful instances in one evening?
Closet door open
belt in hand
decibels rising
My sista Linda, the Positive Discipline expert, must’ve been speaking my name because I decided to sit us both down and take a few moments to center myself (after threatening that he better hope I’m in a different space in 3 minutes).
Before it was over, we talked about choices, consequences, the warring voices in our minds and I LISTENED to what he thought of his own behavior and decisions. I learned some things and he lost some things as a result of his actions. And I must say, it felt good hugging instead of hitting. We’ll see how this turns out. #mommyslearning #learningtogether #putthebeltaway#dowhatworks #hasviolenceworkedforus #blackboysmatter #raisinggoodmen
WOOSAH. Again. Putting this on paper was hard, sharing it on Facebook and now with you is slightly painful. But I am sharing this very personal slice of mommyhood because we sometimes think the tools of manifestation, i.e. vision boards, affirmations, visualizing, etc., create some kind of magic that bring dreams to life. I apologize if I’m bursting huge shiny bubbles but: they don’t. There is magic, but like the choice I made to discipline my son without a belt, it occurs in the arduous daily choices we make to remain as we are or move into the version of ourselves alive inside of our dreams.
In my workshops I quote Rev Andriette Earl as saying, “The biggest lie, the biggest.. is that you can have a different life without being different”. The tools that I mention above and those I share and teach through my workshops assist and remind us that we desire a different life. The magic? Well the magic happens when SugarHoneyIcedTea hits the fan in our current reality! You know, like when an old pattern pops up in a yummy new relationship.. when you’ve decided on a budget and then see a 50% off sale.. when you’ve been planning out your meals and someone offers cake (wait, sorry. That’s me), when you decide to step out on a limb but still have one hand on the solid secure trunk of the tree.
Need another WOOSAH?
Saturday night, I chose to move beyond the default, our history, my experience. I chose a different life. I was able to choose because I’ve affirmed and envisioned that life consistently. But man, it is hard work! I’ve had many choices before this one with my tween/teen children (who are great) and many more to go.
This is my work and my passion! With my own life and with yours. Because you are reading this, I challenge you to use the tools you have already, use my Dreamwork and join me in a workshop to continue manifesting your dreams and working the real magic of manifestation; The journey into the new you ♡
Remember #youthrivewethrive
In Spirit,
